My first thought after today's event was: 'I don't deserve this.' We landed in New Orleans last night and this is my first year on the service trip even though I am a senior now; I wish I have done this starting my sophomore year but whatever, better late than never! Anyways, when we landed it felt more like a school field trip than a working-travel-helping-others thing. I was hanging out with my friends, laughing, seeing New Orleans for the first time. Of course I knew about the devastation and disasters that hit this area but I never really KNEW, fully understood what exactly happened. Beneath the rubble and boarded houses is a community that is so strong and powerful that I am having some trouble understanding exactly why that is. I can walk down a random street in Boston and hear "Fuck You!" at least ten times but here... It's all "Thank You", "Have a nice day", and smiles. No one is a stranger and no one is judged negatively. I might as well be in another country like Switzerland or something.
Today, we visited the 9th ward to see the damage and progress that has taken over the district. We walked through this one house that hasn't even been touched yet even though the buildings around it are being developed. There was water damage, mold, and basically just the skeleton of a house that used to be a home. In the house was a diary that surprisingly was mostly intact despite of the condition of the house. No one died in it which is good but I had this strong feeling of something lost. There was something important missing in this building that was there before. It wasn't walls, windows, or a door but it felt more like... I can't describe it. I want to say love or a family but that wasn't it. It was just something. On the floor in one of the rooms was the diary and it held entries that were set up as letters to a man that was the object of the author's affection. The later the entries were dated the more apparent her feelings were for him. It was like something out of a Meg Ryan movie. I wanted to read it cover to cover but the water blurred some of the writings. That house is locked in that one unit of time and serves as a reminder. That's when I started to figure out why I was down here in the first place. To try to help others find that 'something missing' and maybe in turn I will find my 'something missing' too even if I never noticed that it was gone beforehand.
In the afternoon I was working at Blair Grocery feeding roses to goats and cutting down some plant that was very big and foreign with a machete. I haven't had this much fun in a while but as I was doing work! We were all working but we couldn't have been happier. I would look up from whatever I was doing and see smiling faces; all the while thinking that this was just too good to be true. This is a dream and I will wake up any second and have to slide into my car and go to school. I haven't woken up yet and I really really hope I don't. Not every house is fixed and not every issue is solved... yet. But I know that as long as people with open hearts who are willing to get to work still exists in this world then everything will be all right
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